I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
