he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
