if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Found your dick twin last night
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
