I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
