When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
