if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
