she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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