I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
