A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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