I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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