This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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