so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
