the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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