sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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