In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
