Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
