I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
