I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Damn victory sex feels great
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
