I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
