you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
