i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
