I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
