apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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