Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You made out with two different species that night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
