I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
