He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
50% drunk capacity currently
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
