It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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