Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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