Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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