You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
