I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
