Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He shit in the fireplace
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