Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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