I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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