I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
