next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
