We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Enjoy the penises
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
