last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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