I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
