Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
