I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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