It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
