Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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