I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
