in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
