I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
