Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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