as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
