so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Buhtt sex?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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