Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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