Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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